you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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