i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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