so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
