It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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