she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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