drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
