I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
