She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
