Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
