He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
