the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
