Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Come share oat with me in your robe
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
