you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's shark week go big or go home
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
