wakey wakey hands off snakey
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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