M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
