Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
