You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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