I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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