Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
