I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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