I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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