that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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