So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
