Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
