"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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