Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
