Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
