Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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