omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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