I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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