Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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