I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
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