He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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