i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
