the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
