Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other

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(901): View more from Tennessee

guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.

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(289): View more from Ontario

i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities

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(360): View more from Washington

Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.

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(802): View more from Vermont

i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording

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(585): View more from New York

Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.

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(325): View more from Texas

Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness

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