it wasn't lemon gatorade
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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