When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
