you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Damn victory sex feels great
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize