DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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