So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Who died my cat blue again?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
