Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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