So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
