I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
