you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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