Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
