my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
