Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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