Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
