you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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