I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
