those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
