Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize