We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize