i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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