haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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