Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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