the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
