Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
