i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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