isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I want a musical about memes.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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