I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize