I want to stick my p in your. b.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
