I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
