For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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