wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
