At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
