Having a random hookup so left but love u
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
