you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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