dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
