he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
